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The aftermath

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I wanted to do a wee update for everybody who has been asking/texting/emailing about how we've been doing. Hopefully this will be the last update, however, because I'm DONE WITH THIS MESS! LOL. I hate being sick and feeling like a burden so I'm ready to move on. 

First, you don't really need an appendix. You're welcome for that news flash.  

Second, YOU GUYS ARE SO AWESOME. I had several more thousand blog views than normal regarding my recent hospital stay and SO many people reached out to check on us and ask what they could do to help. I am overwhelmed by all the love. My family has gone above and beyond and there have been a few people who have helped me in ways that I could never repay. We'll get to that in a minute. ;)

Physically, I'm recovering really well. I was released from the hospital a few days ago and have been recouping at home. The surgery was no big deal and I've been taking ibuprofen for minor pain because I can't stand to take heavy meds. Clearly, I could never be a drug addict because I'm too much of a control freak to take any medication that interferes with my mental state. Can't. Handle. It.  

The only hang-up is that I had been sick for so long. I started to feel poor at the beginning of July and my health steadily failed for weeks. To be honest, I thought I was pregnant. LOL. An organ perforating and putrefying in my body felt a lot like pregnancy to me. That is both sad and hilarious. My weight dropped and I felt more and more sickly as the infection and swelling worsened. Bleh. 

My milk supply began to decrease (also a side affect of pregnancy) as my body switched into survival mode and started to shut off all unneccessary functions. 

So our current issue: I wasn't the only one dropping weight. Lolly was silently suffering and when we noticed weight loss for her as well, I began introducing solids with a vegeance. I'm not ready to wean her (as I repeatedly sobbed to everyone in the hospital) and formula is absolutely the last resort (she had to take it once while we were separated overnight and was NOT a happy camper #spoiled). I've been nursing/pumping every 2 hrs during the day and waking up to pump every 3 hrs at night since coming home from the hospital. I had a lactation consultation with an AWESOME chick at Womack and we hashed out a game plan, but I have a long way to go. She's guessing the process may take months. I also informed Laura that she will be nursing until she's 7 to make this whole process worth it. LOL and just kidding... Kind of. ;) 

This is where I have been graced with one of the most precious gifts ever. As I mentioned before, my sister Lauren (and sis-in-law Heather) has been my wet nurse all week, supplementing the milk that I am still unable to make. I've also been giving some frozen breast milk, aka liquid GOLD, for which I am so incredibly grateful. I could cry thinking about the gift that these people have given to Lolly and me. We have avoided formula thus far and I think we might make it out of this with donated milk, plus my increasing supply and solids three times a day. 

I am committed and determined to nurse my baby for as long as I please, dangit, so we are pushing through this rather traumatic bump in our breastfeeding relationship. I passionately believe in breastfeeding and especially long-term nursing as I've studied its benefits indepth over the last few years. Most people may say (as you may be thinking), "No big deal, she nursed for 7 months, just wean her already." However, I could go on forever about how important I feel our nursing relationship is. Breastfeeding is the biggest gift I can give Laura right now. Nursing my baby is everything. The worst part of the past month has been the helpless, panicked feeling that I am unable to give my child what she needs and that she is suffering. Formula is obviously not the best choice, but it IS formulated (hence the term "formula") for a baby so she can't just live on solids and juice. Milk or formula is essential to her development. I'm just not ready to throw in the towel and give her formula. 

I'm reeeeaaally stubborn. Have I mentioned that before? LOL.  

I'm very tired from being up all night (duh) while still recovering from surgery but mostly my soul is just very ragged and demoralized from a week of breakdowns as I worry about my littlest one and her needs. Other than that, we are well. 

Recap: home now, recovering, trying to make some dang milk to feed my baby, doing well. Make sense?  

For real, though. You guys. Just awesome. I have so much love for all of you.  

Thank you again for all the prayer and concern. 

- Meg  

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Peach, Brie & Basil Grilled Cheese

Happy Monday!