I'm very excited that this will probably be the last time I post pictures of myself with that wall as the backdrop because.... We closed on our house and it's being painted! We will move in sometime next week.
Side note: have any of you guys painted all of your walls white on purpose? The painter (and others) looked at me like I was crazy when I told them my plan. I can't help it! All white and natural light makes me heart skip. That may sound boring but by the time I'm done it will be glorious. So clean, so bright... I'm so excited.
That face! ^^
Even more exciting than a new house and new paint is the fact that WE HAVE MILK, PEOPLE! I started suspecting that my milk was coming in on Thursday and Friday as Laura began spitting up after every feeding. I never thought I'd be so thrilled by the sight of baby puke.
My little one gained half a pound this last week leaving the lactation consultant happily shocked. She didn't expect us to be so serious and motivated about the re-lactation process and as my mom put it, "She doesn't know who she's dealing with." LOL
Ideal weight gain for a babe Lolly's age/size is 12 grams a day. Right now she's gaining 35 grams a day. What can I say? We are overachievers. Also, my baby is such a piggie. I had such an over supply during the newborn stage resulting in three rounds of mastitis because she doesn't know how to stop eating!
Wednesday was one of my lowest points as all the progress I was sure I had been making over the previous week had slowed considerably. I had religiously been taking my supplements and pumping with no regard to sleep or exhaustion. I couldn't understand it. I sat on the front porch pretending to listen to music, but really just crying (which tells you how low I really was because I LOATHE crying!) as I struggled to make sense of it all.
"God, is this about my pride? Am I doing this for myself? Is this a test? Just tell me what I need to do."
He reminded me of a moment of clarity from months before.
Cody was deployed and Laura was still a nameless alien baby who had taken over my body and Macson was off being awesome as always. I had been making lists about personal goals (I'm always making lists. Not even because I'm so organized but because I think notebooks are cute. LOL) and cogitating on the future. It dawned on me in a fresh way that my main goal was to effectively serve my family. I realized that in my heart all of my career, educational and social aspirations paled in comparison to the passion I have for making my family successful.
In classic Meg fashion, I made a list. A list about how I could practically serve each of them based on what was important to them and their season of life, not in theory but in action.
Look hot. (LOL. My physical appearance is really important to him.)
Be frugal. (I knew that managing money as responsibly as possible would bless his heart to no end.)
Be an awesome cook. (The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?)
Discipline. (Teach him about boundaries and enforce them.)
Education. (Set him up for success with meticulous and CONSISTENT home schooling.)
Attention. (Don't let him feel overlooked when the baby comes.)
My list for Laura was so short because it's the single, most practical, most important need she would have for the first couple of years.
I sat on the porch absorbing the first bit of natural vitamin D I had seen for days and feeling my resolve steel. I knew that my almost irrational NEED to continue nursing Laura was not about my pride or selfish motive. It was a conviction from God. This is how He has called me to serve my baby for now. So, as long as there is strength left in me by the grace of God, I WILL win. My body WILL submit. With Him sustaining me and good, old fashioned grit and guts, we WILL be successful if it takes us the next entire year.
I know we are not out of the woods yet, as my body is very temperamental and easily imbalanced right now. However, I'm certain that there's grace for this road as long as I must walk it. I know that He has called me here and He is with me always.
Happy Weekend, lovers.