My dear friend and forever soul sister, Jill, was in town yesterday, so we huddled in a small booth over chips, dip and fajitas for dinner to catch up on the last five years that we’ve been apart.
Major side eye to myself for that... Her family has been SO generous and gracious with me, standing in my corner when it wasn’t popular to stand in my corner. I’m not the best at staying in touch (I attribute some of this to growing up in a transient military town, where gaining and losing friends was a yearly occurnace - my young heart learned to hold others at a distance.), which is something I need to change.
A strange interaction during our meal inspired me to write this post after we both mused, “Man, sometimes Christians are THE worst.”
(And I’m not referring to the kind woman who introduced herself and shared that she and her family have been praying for Avery. If you’re reading this - I appreciate you more than you know.)
So, this is an open letter to my fellow Christ followers. I’m sorry if this offends you, and I’ll understand if you’re mad at me at the end. Know that I love you anyway.
If you are a Christian, married or unmarried, with no children, stop telling us the type of parent you’ll be. Stop telling us how your kid will never throw a fit, how you’ll never yell, how you’ll never let them eat dessert for breakfast. Table that thought. Let’s talk again in 10 years.
And if your children are still small, stop telling us all the drinks your one-day teenager will never drink, the drugs your child will never try, the people your child will never love. Table that. Let’s talk in 10 years.
Life happens. CRAP HAPPENS. Life AND crap happens to Christians. Table your “never”s, table your judgement. Put down your stones.
If you’ve ever watched someone in crisis and come to the conclusion that their current storm is because they haven’t been to church in a while - you need to stop.
If you’ve ever watched someone experience loss and come to the conclusion that their agony is God’s punishment for them - you need to stop.
If you’ve ever talked to a woman who has lost a baby and said something like, “God needed another angel” or “God makes everything happen for a reason” - you need to stop.
If you’ve ever watched porn and yet judged a woman who bore a child out of wedlock - you need to stop.
If you’ve ever thought or said you could never be friends with a woman who has had an abortion because she “murdered her baby” - you need to stop.
If you are homophobic or transphobic - you need to stop. You don’t have to agree or approve of someone elses’ choices in order to still love, respect and value them as humans.
If a woman has ever confided in you that she’s being emotionally, spiritually, sexually or physically abused in her marriage and you quoted Bible verses about God hating divorce - you need to stop.
If you know a lot about the Bible, yet have no evidence of Jesus’ nature in your life - you need to stop.
If you ever gossip, yet condemn profanity - you need to stop.
If you feel that you can’t be REAL and HONEST about your life and your struggles because a “Good Christian” must always wear a brave face - you need to stop.
If you are a Christian, but stay silent when someone makes racist jokes or comments - you need to stop.
If you use the Bible to abuse someone else - you need to stop.
If you use the Bible to justify your hate - you need to stop.
If you use the Bible to justify your self-rightousness and judgement of others - you need to stop.
If you’ve ever felt so ashamed of your past that you’re afraid to reach for your dreams - you need to stop. He doesn’t call the qualified - He calls and then He qualifies. Your best days are ahead.
If you used to believe for a miracle, but ceased because you’re too tired to hope - you need to stop. He can make streams in the desert and paths where there were none. Nothing is impossible.
If you believe that Jesus is mad at you or disappointed in you - you need to stop. He loves unconditionally, accepts irrevocably and forgives endlessly.
Nothing can separate you from His love - even occasionally being “THE worst” (which I am too, sometimes!)
Lots of love,